There are two ways we can live our life:

  • being at CAUSE in our life
  • being at the EFFECT of our circumstances.

Being at CAUSE means that you are actively creating the life you want, seeing opportunities and making choices about how you react to people and events.

When you are at EFFECT you feel powerless and see yourself as a victim, with no choices whatsoever.

The approach we take can have a big effect on our results and our satisfaction level.

For example.  Mary was crossing at a pedestrian crossing when a drug-affected driver knocked her down.  Her leg is broken.  The event has happened and can’t be changed.  All Mary has control over is her response to this event.

Mary could take on the role of the helpless victim, filling her mind with negative thoughts about the event that has taken place and the undesirable consequences for her:  pain, the need for rehabilitation and time off work, missing out on sports and recreational activities, anger towards the driver of the car, constantly remembering and retelling the story of the wrong that was done to her and feeling resentment, frustration and the unfairness of it all.   Mary is at EFFECT.  Her thoughts will probably delay her recovery as her thought processes flood her body with negativity and she battles through the necessary rehabilitation work.

OR

Mary could choose to be at CAUSE, accepting that the event has taken place and it is up to her now as to how she progresses from here.  She can spend time in meditation, listen to uplifting music and inspiring speakers, see the funny side of life by watching comedy shows, read the autobiographies of individuals who have triumphed over great personal adversity, put her focus outside herself by looking for ways to help and encourage others, undertake research to discover the latest techniques for assisting recovery following a broken leg, ensure that she helps her body as much as possible by getting adequate nutrition, fresh water and rest, commit to completing all the required physiotherapy sessions for strengthening her leg as it heals, choose to forgive the driver of the car, be forward looking – setting post-recovery goals for herself, and be open to the idea that this experience may have lessons for her to learn and thereby some hidden benefits.

The circumstance is the same, but the outcome is a very different experience for Mary.  What makes the difference is the choice that Mary makes about her attitude and focus.  Her actions and therefore her results flow out from that.

In the scenario above, Mary has choices to make in terms of her

  • thoughts
  • focus
  • self talk
  • beliefs
  • images
  • feelings.

Each of these is a conscious choice – we all have total control over these six things.

So if you are not happy with your life right now, ask yourself:  am I at cause, or am I at effect?  When you are at the effect of something, it upsets you. It gives you problems.  How to change into being at cause?  I’ll give you some tips in my next blog.