Tag Archive: choice


BEING AT CAUSE

Filed Under: Personal growth by admin — Comments Off
June 1, 2011

There are two ways we can live our life:

  • being at CAUSE in our life
  • being at the EFFECT of our circumstances.

Being at CAUSE means that you are actively creating the life you want, seeing opportunities and making choices about how you react to people and events.

When you are at EFFECT you feel powerless and see yourself as a victim, with no choices whatsoever.

The approach we take can have a big effect on our results and our satisfaction level.

For example.  Mary was crossing at a pedestrian crossing when a drug-affected driver knocked her down.  Her leg is broken.  The event has happened and can’t be changed.  All Mary has control over is her response to this event.

Mary could take on the role of the helpless victim, filling her mind with negative thoughts about the event that has taken place and the undesirable consequences for her:  pain, the need for rehabilitation and time off work, missing out on sports and recreational activities, anger towards the driver of the car, constantly remembering and retelling the story of the wrong that was done to her and feeling resentment, frustration and the unfairness of it all.   Mary is at EFFECT.  Her thoughts will probably delay her recovery as her thought processes flood her body with negativity and she battles through the necessary rehabilitation work.

OR

Mary could choose to be at CAUSE, accepting that the event has taken place and it is up to her now as to how she progresses from here.  She can spend time in meditation, listen to uplifting music and inspiring speakers, see the funny side of life by watching comedy shows, read the autobiographies of individuals who have triumphed over great personal adversity, put her focus outside herself by looking for ways to help and encourage others, undertake research to discover the latest techniques for assisting recovery following a broken leg, ensure that she helps her body as much as possible by getting adequate nutrition, fresh water and rest, commit to completing all the required physiotherapy sessions for strengthening her leg as it heals, choose to forgive the driver of the car, be forward looking – setting post-recovery goals for herself, and be open to the idea that this experience may have lessons for her to learn and thereby some hidden benefits.

The circumstance is the same, but the outcome is a very different experience for Mary.  What makes the difference is the choice that Mary makes about her attitude and focus.  Her actions and therefore her results flow out from that.

In the scenario above, Mary has choices to make in terms of her

  • thoughts
  • focus
  • self talk
  • beliefs
  • images
  • feelings.

Each of these is a conscious choice – we all have total control over these six things.

So if you are not happy with your life right now, ask yourself:  am I at cause, or am I at effect?  When you are at the effect of something, it upsets you. It gives you problems.  How to change into being at cause?  I’ll give you some tips in my next blog.

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Yes, BUT ……

Filed Under: Personal growth, Success by admin — 1 Comment
May 9, 2010

When I hear this expression, I become intensely interested.  I really want to hear what follows the “Yes, BUT” because it always amazes me – the excuses people choose to use to keep themselves stuck.  I find it incredible that people are happy to just sit with the excuse and not think about solutions so they can move forward.

Here are some Yes, BUT …. examples:
•    we’ve ALWAYS done it this way
•    it’s in my DNA
•    I had a bad childhood
•    I don’t have enough time
•    I can’t afford it
•    the economy is not good just now
•    my partner/parents/friends/colleagues are not supportive

Don’t accept these excuses as the place you are at.  I suggest you eliminate BUT, substitute AND then add SO.  For example:
I want to start a business, BUT I don’t have the start-up capital.
Becomes:  I want to start a business, AND I don’t have the start-up capital SO …..

This simple change stops us from thinking we have an acceptable excuse for not solving the problem and assists us to take responsibility and look for a solution.  A business associate of mine, Rachel Oliver (co-owner of a positive media company) always says:  “No money+ plenty of imagination = no problem.  No money+ no imagination = big problem. ”

Most of our problems are not “out there”.  Our biggest problem is not the events or circumstances of our lives.  Our biggest problem is between our ears – how we think about things.

Success is certainly a choice, there is no doubt about it.  We have all made a series of choices to get ourselves to where we are now.  We need to acknowledge that and take responsibility for it.  Because if we don’t like where we are and want to get to a better place, it is time to start making some better choices.

Here is a great quote (don’t know the source):

“People are not what they think they are…but rather…what people think…they are!”

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SUCCESS IS A CHOICE

Filed Under: Success by admin — Leave a comment
September 1, 2009

I think there are a lot of people who would argue with me on that. They think success is something that happens to them, if they are lucky.

Some people consider themselves really unlucky and believe that success will never come to them. People who think of themselves as not being successful usually have plenty of reasons why. Perhaps it’s because …………

* I don’t live in the right location
* It’s a consequence of the way my parents brought me up
* I haven’t received the recognition I deserve
* the opportunities have just not been there for me
* ___________ won’t cooperate with me
* (you fill in the blank)

Just think for a moment – are these really reasons, or are they excuses? Do you know of ANYBODY who has succeeded despite “living in the wrong location”? Anybody who has succeeded despite the way their parents raised them? Anybody who has gone on to succeed despite not having gained recognition for their efforts? So are these things reasons why we can’t be successful, or obstacles to be overcome on the way to success?

What is success anyway? Is it having a certain level of income, having a particular type of car, living in a fantastic house? A lot of people have those things but are not happy.

While success is usually tied to an achievement or a material acquisition, success is not the actual thing, but it is really the FEELING that those things represent. For example, you train hard, you win a race. You put the trophy on the shelf. Every time you look at it, you feel great. Is it the trophy itself that makes you feel great? No, it is the achievement it represents. You look at the trophy, remember what it took to win it and FEEL a success energy.

So if success is a feeling, then success is also a CHOICE. You can choose how you feel. (If you are not convinced of that it is another whole topic that I’m not going into right now.) If success is a feeling you can teach yourself to feel successful every minute of every day. Focus on your successes, build the success energy in your life. Remember that you get more of what you focus on, so more success will come your way.

CHOOSE SUCCESS, don’t wait for it to magically happen to you.

I believe every individual has the ability to realize their inherent potential and live a life of personal fulfillment.  Find out more about The Secret for Success

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